Is it really that possible to fall for someone so quickly? How can feelings develop for a certain somebody so quickly? I mustn't open up myself again not after what happened last time, it's just not possible. It would be like falling into a hole and falling so deep it'd be impossible to get out from. All I want to do is talk to you, go to you and see you even if it's just to study and help you. It's so hard always talking to you first, its obvious you don't want to talk to me as much as I do. I just want to have that snuggle relationship. I don't want to be with you because of loneliness, you don't deserve that. I just can't let you get inside of me, inside my mind and let you control it. Not again. Last year was so tough, emotionally and physically.

Haven't been in the best state this year. So tough on myself, I'm not surprised everybody leaves. How could they stand being near somebody like me? I'm just such a horrible person and friend. What is my existence of this world supposed to be? Am I just put here to be miserable and make everybody else feel better about themselves? It's just so disgusting how I feel about this whole thing.